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Skate Wars: Boardslide of the Jedi

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A Star Wars fan comic called Skate Wars. Panel 1: Fode and Beed speak into microphones with a bunch of TV screens behind them. They say, "...And we're back at the Empire Endor Classic! In case you're just joining us, our returning champion Darth Vader is going up against his own son, Li'l Skywalker!" Panel 2: The title of the comic says, "Skate Wars: Boardslide of the Jedi." Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker face off against each other with a "versus" symbol between them. They're both holding skateboards.
Panel 3: Fode and Beed say, "And it's quite a course, isn't it?" The skate course is made out of wood and looks like giant hollowed out tree trunks. Panel 4: Luke Skywalker poses in mid-air while his board flips around. Fode and Beed say, "But Skywalker has demolished it. Take a look at that Disney 560!" Panel 5: Darth Vader crashes to the ground on his back. Fode and Beed say, "Vader fans were disappointed when he was unable to land his signature Force Choke!"
Panel 6: Palpatine descends wooden stairs to where Vader lies on the floor and Luke stands nearby watching. Fode and Beed say, "But looks like Skywalker has stopped in the middle of his run—and the C.E.O. of Empire has gone down there to check in on his athletes." Panel 7: Palpatine says to Luke, "You've almost beaten him, young Skywalker. It's what he deserves, isn't it? Why stop now?"
Panel 8: Luke coolly tosses his skateboard aside. Panel 9: Luke says, "I refuse to compete. Sue me for breach of contract." Panel 10: Fode and Beed say, "Looks like Skywalker is refusing to continue his run!" Panel 11: Palpatine picks up Luke's skateboard and says, "The consquences will be more severe than that." Panel 12: Luke says, "You overestimate Empire's importance." Panel 13: Palpatine says, "Empire is the lifeblood of this sport."
Panel 14: Leia aggressively pushes open the gate to the skatepark. Lando, Han, and Chewie stand behind her. Panel 15: Children rush into the park on scooters. Panel 16: Bird's eye view of the park, where a massive crowd of people are entering. Fode and Beed say, "Hundreds of scootering children and their parents have flooded the park!" Panel 17: A child does a trick on a scooter. Panel 18: Another scene of children on scooters in the park. Fode and Beed say, "This is a disaster for Empire, who have banned scooters in their parks for years!" Panel 19: Two parents stand next to each other and drink coffee while a child on a scooter rushes past them.
Panel 20: Palpatine looks down at the crowd and yells, "Scooters!! How dare you bring that filth in here!!" Panel 21: Palpatine looks angry and Luke is standing behind him. Panel 22: Palpatine suddenly turns and strikes Luke in the face with Luke's skateboard. Panel 23: Palpatine stands over Luke. Luke says, "Dad!" Panel 24: Darth Vader approaches Palpatine. Luke says, "Dad."
Panel 25: Vader grips Palpatine by the front of his sweatshirt. Palpatine says, "Consider your contract null and void, Vader." Panel 26: Vader hoists Palpatine above his head. Panel 27: Vader tosses Palpatine into the crowd that's congregated in the skatepark. Panel 28: The crowd carries Palpatine away. Fode and Beed say, "Looks like Palpatine is being dragged off! There's always a bigger fish."
Panel 29: Luke sees Vader suddenly collapse and yells, "Dad!" Panel 30: Luke grabs hold of Vader. Vader says, "My suit... is failing..." Luke asks, "So quickly?" Panel 31: Vader turns in Luke's arms and says, "They can... turn it off... at anytime... remotely."
Panel 32: Luke says, "I'll take a look, I have some para-medical training." Vader, now with his goggles removed, says, "Heh... of course you do..." Panel 33: Close-up of a panel on Vader's suit that has the Amazon arrow on it. Panel 34: The panel is lifted up, revealing and Amazon Echo device inside. Panel 35: Luke looks at the device inside suit and says, "Looks like the main apparatus is run by an Echo device. Hey Alexa, manual override!"
Panel 36: Close-up of the Echo device. It says, "Sorry, I can't do that." Panel 37: Luke starts crying and says, "Alexa! Hey! No!" Panel 38: Bird's eye view of paramedics rushing to the scene as Luke sobs over Vader's body and yells, "Alexa!"

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